(The Nationalist, 24 March 2000)
I’m happy. Yes, it’s just as simple as that. I’m happy even though I don’t think I’m a simpleton who could be made happy by being given a penny lollipop.
I don’t have a grievance against anyone. I don’t have an axe to grind or a score to settle. I’ve given up listening to the prophets of doom who aren’t happy unless there at least one crisis, health scare, or economic crash looming just around the corner.
I’m happy with what I’ve got – content, in fact. I’m not worried about my wage relativity – I don’t know what clergy of other churches get paid.
I’m as aware of the next person of the faults of humanity and its institutions but that doesn’t make me cynical. I still believe that the reasons for hope outweigh those for gloom.
I live in an imperfect world and an imperfect country but I am deeply grateful for all that has been given to me – handed to me on a plate, in fact. I’m grateful for the work and effort of generations of human beings before me who have made this world and this country what it is.
I’m aware, too, of family, neighbours, school, church and friends who have – sometimes without being aware of it, more often the result of commitment – created the conditions of life which enable me to be happy.
I enjoy life and enjoy living. Each day is a new gift, given to me without effort on my part. I sometimes wish the days were longer to enable me to do all that I want to do in them.
I have never in my life felt the contentment that I now feel. I have never in my life felt such a strong faith in God as I now have.
No more than anyone else I don’t know what the future will bring – or even if I have a future. But if death were to come to me, I believe I could say ‘Welcome, Sister Death’ as Saint Francis said before his death. I’m not afraid of death. I would welcome it as the entrance to the next step in life – and a better one.
Does the above make me sound like a smug, self-satisfied pain in the arse? If it does – and I’m sure it does to some people – I apologize.
I see it as a gift; it has been given to me. I didn’t do anything to deserve it. But I feel an obligation to share it. And that’s why I’m telling you about it.