(The Nationalist, 9 April 2004)
One version, focussing on self-centredness.
Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, a man in hell went to the devil and said to him, ‘I think there’s been a mistake. I shouldn’t be here. When I was on earth I never did anyone any harm’.
The devil listened, and then said to him, ‘When you were on earth, did you meet any of the three heavenly messengers?’ ‘The who?’ said the man. ‘I never heard of them’.
‘Do you remember,’ said the devil, ‘when you were walking along the road to here, if you saw a very small child who was lost? He wanted to go home, but didn’t know where it was. He hadn’t a clue, and was crying his eyes out. Did you see him at all?’ ‘I never saw him’, the man replied.
‘Well, then’, said the devil, ‘maybe you saw an old man hobbling along, using a stick, and trying to carry a bundle over his shoulder. The bundle was heavy and he wasn’t very strong. From time to time it fell, and he had to try to gather up all everything that burst out when it hit the ground, while people walked past indifferently. Did you see any sign of him?’ ‘I never saw sight nor sign of him’, the man replied.
Once more the devil asked him, ‘Maybe, as you came nearer, you saw a woman with three small children, carrying bags of shopping and tired from the heat. She felt weak and had to sit down. She asked for a drink of water, but everyone left it to someone else to get. Did you see her?’ The man answered him, ‘I never clapped eyes on her’.
‘Well, in that case’, said the devil, ‘there hasn’t been any mistake. You’re in the right place. Hell is for those who have eyes for nothing but themselves’.
An alternative, focussing on selfishness:
Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, a man in hell went to the devil and said to him, ‘I think there’s been a mistake. I shouldn’t be here. When I was on earth I never did anyone any harm’.
The devil listened, and then said to him, ‘When you were on earth, did you meet any of the three heavenly messengers?’ ‘The who?’ said the man, ‘I never heard of them’.
‘Do you remember,’ said the devil, ‘when you were walking along the road to here, if you saw a very small child who was lost? He wanted to go home, but didn’t know where it was. He hadn’t a clue, and was crying his eyes out. Did you see him at all?’ ‘I didn’t want to get involved’, the man replied.
‘Well, then’, said the devil, ‘maybe you saw an old man hobbling along, using a stick, and trying to carry a bundle over his shoulder. The bundle was heavy and he wasn’t very strong. From time to time it fell, and he had to try to gather up all everything that burst out when it hit the ground, while people walked past indifferently. Did you see any sign of him?’ ‘I keep myself to myself’, the man replied.
Once more the devil asked him, ‘Maybe, as you came nearer, you saw a woman with three small children, carrying bags of shopping and tired from the heat. She felt weak and had to sit down. She asked for a drink of water, but no one brought one to her. Did you see her?’ The man answered him, ‘I thought someone else would bring it’.
‘Well, in that case’, said the devil, ‘there hasn’t been any mistake. You’re in the right place. Hell is for those who have eyes for nothing but themselves’.