(The Nationalist, 5 August 2005)
Imagine being caught out in a small boat on a stormy lake at 3 a.m. No light, and flying spume reduces visibility. Strong headwinds whip up waves that defy the efforts of the crew to move forward. Add a captain prone to act on the first thought that comes into his head. You’d have good reason to fear for your survival.
That’s the scene that one of the Gospels describes. Peter was the captain. His heart was in the right place, but his head – well, that was something else. And then the Gospel says that Jesus came to the men in the boat, walking across the water. They thought he was a ghost. They must have felt they had enough problems already without that. And then, in this sea of troubles, Jesus spoke a word: ‘Come’.
He’s asking the impossible, the absurd. Leave the safety of the boat, however limited it was, and try walking on water? Mad! But Peter loved Jesus and trusted him. He did as Jesus said and stepped out into the waves. As long as he kept his eyes on Jesus he was alright, but when he started looking at the waves, he lost his nerve and began to sink.
What held him back was fear. Fear, more than doubt, is the enemy of faith. Having faith without doubt is like having answers without having asked questions. Doubt and faith are like two poles or terminals – they need each other. But fear paralyzes us and blocks movement.
We don’t like to be groping around in the dark or to get out of our depth. But maybe we need to let go of our desire to be in control and instead to sink into God. Maybe Peter needed to experience his weakness in order to discover his need of God. The conclusion to this experience for Peter was reverence. He came to revere Jesus the saviour.
The message from Jesus to us in the midst of our fears is: ‘Courage! It is I; do not be afraid!’
For those in a hurry: ‘The most important result of our fidelity to prayer is that, despite everything, we want to go on praying’. (Cardinal Basil Hume)