Drugs and your Child

(The Nationalist, 1 October 1999)

 

The principal drug-problem in Ireland is with the legal drugs of alcohol and tobacco. They also constitute the unrecognized and number one source of addiction. Furthermore, those who work with addiction see the legal drugs as the gateway to the illegal ones. Illegal drugs are not only an urban, or teen-age, or third-level student problem. They also affect adults. The first person in Ireland to die from ecstasy was not a teenager from the city. He was a 27-year old man in a country town. (1) This article, however, is concerned with illegal drugs and, in particular, how they affect young people.

The European School Project on Alcohol and Drugs (ESPAD) carried out a survey in 24 countries in Europe, asking about 2,000 sixteen-year-old students the same set of questions under the same conditions. They focused on cigarette smoking, drinking and illegal drug taking.

In Ireland, 37% of those interviewed had taken illegal drugs. That was a higher level than the average in the 24 countries surveyed. However, it also means that nearly two-thirds had not tried an illegal drug. Of Ireland’s 37%, all had tried cannabis, and just under half of them had tried other drugs also. (3)

The great majority in each country said that the first illegal drug they had was obtained from a friend or shared in a group. Only a very few bought from a stranger. This shows the need to be conscious of peer pressure and for parents to know who their children’s friends are.

Professor Howard Parker quotes surveys as indicating that the differences between boys and girls and between social classes in regard to illegal drug use are small and diminishing. They also suggest that the illegal drug economy is meshing with the legal economy, and that drug taking is coming to be seen as normal. Young people encounter offers of drugs on a routine and almost daily basis; they have to say no often. By the age of 19 only a minority have not tried them. The use of drugs among 11 to 13 year olds is growing. Solvents are down in use, LSD is not popular, but cannabis is the starter. (4) ‘It is argued that the taking of soft drugs such as cannabis does not lead to taking hard drugs, but there is a growing body of evidence that one drug leads to another.’ (5)

Why do young people try drugs?

  • To rebel or to shock people.
  • So as to feel that they belong to a group of friends.
  • To enjoy the risk.
  • It’s “fun”.
  • Curiosity, experimentation.
  • It’s part of a night out, e.g. at a rave party.
  • It makes them feel grown-up.
  • It’s seen as an escape from reality.
  • They’re bored; they have nothing else to do.
  • The desire for pleasure.
  • Drugs are easy to get hold of and young people have the money.
  • The absence of a sense of belonging, of meaning, of values.
  • Insecurity in the home; trying to cope with problems.

Whatever the reasons, there is no denying that drug use among young people is on the increase and therefore cause for concern. Early school leavers are a particularly vulnerable group.

How can you know if your daughter or son is using drugs?

It is often difficult to tell, so it is important not to jump to conclusions. Young people sometimes exhibit changes in mood, and problematic behaviour. That may be just part of the growing-up process. The following are indicators, but by themselves they don’t prove anything:

  • Sudden changes of mood.
  • Unusual irritability or aggression.
  • Loss of appetite.
  • Loss of interest in hobbies, sports, school or friends. New and strange friends.
  • Change in appearance and sense of dress.
  • Bouts of drowsiness, being abnormally sleepy.
  • Secrecy or lying about whereabouts and activities; exceptionally late hours.
  • Unexplained disappearance of money or goods from the house.
  • Unusual smells, stains or marks on the body, on clothing or around the house.
  • Unusual powders, tablets, capsules, scorched tinfoil, syringes or needles.
  • Appearing drunk or “stoned”.

What can a parent do? By way of long-term prevention you can:

  • Do a course on parenting with your husband/wife; it doesn’t all come ‘naturally’.
  • Examine your personal use of legal drugs like alcohol or tobacco. They are usually the young person’s first experience of drugs, and they start at home.
  • Communicate with your children. Talk to them about drugs. If you don’t, someone else will, and it could be a friend who offers them one ‘to try it out’, or a drug pusher.
  • Listen with your heart as well as your head. Let them say their piece without interruption. Avoid accusations or blame.
  • Tell them about your own struggles in childhood, not in a ‘When I was your age…’ mould, but to show them that you had problems too. Give reassurance. Let them know that you’re on their side.
  • Be available to them; tell them the door is always open.
  • Be firm, consistent and reasonable about house rules.
  • Do things together, encouraging interest in sport and other activities while at an early age.
  • Create opportunities for positive experiences.
  • Get to know their friends.
  • Be tolerant with their mistakes.
  • Look for openness, transparency and accountability in regard to pocket money.
  • Build up their self-esteem; show that you value them and regard them as special.
  • Create a stable family atmosphere.
  • Read up about drugs, get accurate information.
  • Store medication and alcohol carefully in the home. Discard unused medicines carefully.

What not to do if your child is on drugs:

  • Don’t bully.
  • Don’t lecture.
  • Don’t be “holier than thou”.
  • Don’t try scare stories – the truth is frightening enough.
  • Don’t make threats that you don’t intend carrying out.
  • Don’t try to cover things up for the sake of maintaining appearances.
  • Don’t let yourself be fooled; most addicts are arch-manipulators.

What to do if your son or daughter is already taking drugs:

  • Stop and think before you say or do anything.
  • Discuss the matter with your husband/wife.
  • Are you sure of your facts? For instance, was it a “once-off” affair or is it becoming an established pattern?
  • Ask for help from the Health Board, your doctor, school, Gardaí or support groups such as
    • AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) for those with drinking problems;
    • NA (Narcotics Anonymous) for drug abusers;
    • AL Ateen, AL Anon, Nar Anon: for those affected by someone else’s drug abuse.
  • Keep the lines of communication open to your child.
  • Look after your own emotional needs and those of your other children.
  • Give your child reasons for not taking drugs: – e.g. problems with health, with family, at school, in employment, as well as with the law. ‘It is estimated that almost 60% of crime in England and Wales may be drug-related.’ (2)
  • Show the child your support no matter what happens.
  • Reassure them, but without trying to talk away the consequences of their actions.
  • Look for gradual change and never give up hope.

Some prayer would help, too, especially together in the family for the one who is troubled. ‘There, but for the grace of God, go I…’

 

Among the sources drawn on in writing this article are the following:

Understanding Drugs: A Guide for Parents, (1998), Health Promotion Unit, Dept. of Health, Hawkins House, Hawkins St., Dublin.2.
What do you now about Drugs?, Health Promotion Agency, Northern Ireland Office, Belfast, 1997.
Drugs and Solvents: You and your Child, Health Promotion Agency, Northern Ireland Office, Belfast, 1997.
Drugs: what every Parent should know, Health Promotion Agency, Northern Ireland Office, Belfast, 1995.

 

Footnotes

1. The Irish Bishops, Breaking the Silence, Veritas, Dublin, 1997.
2. James Morton, “Gangster’s Eldorado”, The Tablet, 12 September 1998, p.1177.
3. ESPAD, European School Project on Alcohol and Drugs: Results for Ireland, Mark Morgan, 1997.
4. Professor Howard Parker, “Young People and Drugs: Critical Issues for Policy”, Children’s Centre/Addiction Studies, 22 November 1997.
5. James Morton, “Gangster’s Eldorado”, The Tablet, 12 September 1998, p.1176.