(The Nationalist, 24 May 2002)
We live in an age of selfishness. Under different forms it’s not hard to find, such as:
- Self-assertiveness: ‘I demand my rights’. Nothing about responsibilities.
- Self-seeking: ‘Why should I care?’
- Self-centeredness: the Me generation to whom it simply does not occur to think of the other person.
- Self-sufficiency: ‘I’m fine as I am, I don’t want to change, mind your own business’.
- And simple selfishness: ‘I want what I want because I want it.’ A statement that is at the moral level of an infant.
Selfishness is in all of us. The dividing line between it and generosity is not only out there among other people; it runs through every human heart – and that includes mine. But our age seeks to justify selfishness.
Earlier generations, that of our parents and grandparents were less selfish, I believe. They were trained to think of others first and themselves second. The paradox of that is that it becomes a win-win situation. The other person and myself both gain. Selfishness makes losers of us all. It leads to mediocrity and second-rateness. Those who excel are usually selfless people, who give everything they have to the matter in hand. Selfishness, by contrast, is held back by asking the question, ‘What’s in this for me?’
Take an example from the field of art. Is it not remarkable that the Middle Ages, so often belittled – as for instance in the use of the word “medieval” as a term of disparagement – was an age of massive artistic achievement? Whether in the fields of architecture, literature, sculpture, painting or music, the Middle Ages were Europe’s greatest age, beside which so many present-day efforts, despite our technical superiority, seem like the dabblings and daubings of amateurs or con-artists.
It was also an age which, through the influence of the Christian faith with its teaching on the primacy of love of God and of neighbour, gave priority to other-centeredness over self-centredness.
Life is full of strange twists and ironies. When I stop worrying about myself and give priority to the other, I mature and become a better person. One who is self-centred becomes progressively more closed and inward-looking, and this may end in suicide.
Why do we have so many suicides, especially among young men? I think part of the reason is that the young have not been taught to be self-giving. “Look after Number One” is a widespread attitude, and it is self-destructive.
The great Albert Schweitzer, who won the Nobel Peace Prize fifty years ago and spent a large part of his life in caring for lepers, said that if anyone wants to spend life well, they must spend it for others.